Provision Journal: Waiting
Last week my adventure of faith went quiet. This happens sometimes.
Our prayer team has learned to pray based on a system that Agnes Sanford wrote about in her book The Healing Light. We first remove the obstacles to the flow: we forgive, we let go of anger, and then we sit with God until we sense the presence of the Lord moving through our group. Then we wait and only pray what we hear the Lord directing us to pray. And then we wait. Yes, there is a lot of waiting involved.
One night, two weeks ago, I didn't have any cash, and I didn't have a place to go. I was determined to not be an orphan and try to make it happen. And so I sat in a hotel lobby until after eight at night until the answer came. I've had several nights throughout this adventure where I waited on the Lord, and had what I would call profound encounters with the love of the Father.
What do you do when you wait? I choose to fix my mind and attention on the faithfulness of God. Sometimes I recount all the answers to prayer that have come in the past. I sit with the Lord and let the presence of Jesus in me rise up, and let his patience manifest in my life. And I choose to not do anything. And this inactivity is a choice. It is not being passive. It is agreeing with the Lord that I am not going to help him. I am not going to give God suggestions, or get in his way.
So last week the waiting gave way to something else. I began to walk into a sense of deep wellbeing. All is going to be well. All is well. God has this. It is all going to work out, and all the big things we are praying for regarding London are going to manifest. And we are seeing movement with people, with situations, with doors into the city, and opportunities.
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I'm still in a "touch and go" season regarding housing and cash flow. This week I was back to moving every night. Yesterday I woke up and asked the Lord what to do, and sensed strongly I needed to take the day off and go the seaside. And so I did. It takes more faith to rest and let go than to strive and try to figure it out. Many years ago I made the decision to live my life as if all the prayers were answered. And so I went to the beach.
For the record, God keeps providing every day and often one day at a time. And in the midst of it, I am also growing in rest.
Don't give up, keep going.